Suspension Therapy, or How I Got Through a Year Doing Nothing

Chapter 1: Ugh.

It's twenty-two minutes past six in the morning, and there is no logical explanation as to why I am awake at this unholy hour except for the Tuesday morning get-ready-for-school racket my family is making, of which I have no plans in participating.

I officially have no boyfriend, got forced to stop going to school, had to physically abandon majority of my friends, and had no choice but to trade the city life I've been used to for the past three years for a more quiet albeit boring country living. My social status has pretty much nosedived from ordinary citizen of the world to worthless piece of shit.

Life is definitely asking me to press the reset button.

Only, I don't want a new nor different life. Despite my meager I-could-do-so-much-more-but-I'd-settle-with-this existence, I pretty much had everything I ever needed or wanted.

Tons of friends, with a shot at the Miss Congeniality title. Passing grades, the kind that doesn't get you a gold star, but you still brag about it because it only took you the last five days of the semester. Enough allowance for an eat here, drink there, let's-go-catch-a-movie-on-a-whim kind of lifestyle. And a guy who, despite his subtle but point-blank I-can't-commit-to-you attitude, was fast becoming my top priority in life.

Then that stupid photo happened.

Without so much as a climax, musical crescendo or build-up of momentum, my world came to an abrupt stop.

I am beyond wallowing in self-pity. I am scuba-diving in a bottomless sea of despair. And the deeper I go, the darker it gets.

Which is why I content myself to stay near the surface.